FORWORD: Hi there! :-) Here is a silly little fanfic that I (let's face it) ripped off from a joke about Russian soldiers that a fellow Austrans Fan, Darren Murphy, forwarded to me. I don't know who the original author is, but it's got very little to do with Russian soldiers now! ;-)
Intelligent comments welcome. Flames will be laughed at and trashed. :-p
COPYRIGHT INFORMATION: Transformers belong to Hasbro, so I hope they don't mind the odd, non-profit fanfic or too. Oh well, too late now! I have no idea who wrote the original Russian soldiers joke. Please e-mail me if you do. and so to the story....
Deep inside the Decepticon underwater base on Earth, Megatron outlined his new plan to his troops. "And so you all agree with me then? We replace Starscream, the most treacherous Transformer that ever sucked energon, with the loyal drones I've been creating?" In response a mighty cheer came from the assembled Decepticons.
Starscream was up on his feet in a moment. "You'd never DARE replace me with a bunch of mindless drones!" he shrieked.
"Drones do exactly what they're told," snapped Megatron. "All the Decepticons on Earth are sick of you doing your own thing and endangering the rest of us. You can go back to Cybertron and get in Shockwave's way for a change. Now if we can get back to discussing more important matters...."
Starscream stormed out of the meeting beside himself with rage. "So Megatron thinks he can replace me with a bunch of stupid, mindless drones? Me, Starscream, the pride of the Decepticon Academy and the best air warrior he's got? Well he's going to regret even *thinking* about it!"
Starscream stomped through the underwater base until he entered the landing bay. All five drones were standing there, still as statues. They were Seeker jets coloured red, they resembled Starscream, but their blank, white eyes betrayed their mindlessness. Starscream looked at them with contempt. "I'm worth more than all of you put together," he sneered. "So Megatron likes subordinates who always do what they're told? Stand like this." Starscream struck a silly pose and all the drones copied him. Slowly an idea dawned on Starscream. "When you're standing like that, you remind me of a human game I once saw our so called Robot-Master, Donny Finkleberg, playing. That gives me an idea...." Starscream began to giggle, "I'm not just the most handsome Decepticon, I'm the most cosmopolitan too! What do you think about that?"
The drones stared blankly at him. "Oh never mind" muttered Starscream. He flicked the switch that raised the underwater base's landing pad. "Drones, transform and follow me." Starscream lead the drones to a towering cliff not far away from the base. They landed close to the edge. Starscream turned to the drones. "I'd better play my 'game' now, before the other Decepticons notice we're missing. Drone One. Stand on one leg with your arms straight out. Now jump!"
Drone One did.
Starscream peered down at the wreckage of Drone One and thought hard. "Drone Two. Stand with your legs together and your arms straight out and jump!"
Drone Two did.
Again Starscream looked down and thought. "Drone Three. Move to the right a little and keep your arms and legs together. Now jump!"
Drone Three did.
Starscream considered the resulting rubble below. "Drone Four. Stand on one leg and move a little to your left. Now jump!"
Drone Four did.
Starscream peered down into the abyss but his concentration was broken when he noticed Megatron in the distance, flying towards him as fast as he could go. "Drone Five," said Starscream hastily, "Tuck yourself into a ball and jump!"
The last drone jumped just before Megatron arrived. Megatron glared down at the wreckage of his drones. He was almost speechless with rage. "STARSCREAM, WHAT ON CYBERTRON DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he managed to choke out.
"Playing Tetris," smirked Starscream.